My Mind and Heart in this Troubled Times


(Photo by Marcos Paulo Prado on Unsplash)


It has been a year with this pandemic that envelopes our world; the constant fear of the unpredictable effects of the virus to one’s life and in the world, and the paranoia that some people suddenly developed, are now looming over us all. It’s heartbreaking and suffocating. Sometimes I still cannot believe that this is happening to us, even in this time and age. It’s just mind-blowing and hard to grasp! It seems like it’s some plot from a movie, but this is our reality now.


There are a lot of things that I missed doing that I cannot now do because of the precautions that I needed to think about. I usually am just a homebody; I really like just spending my time at home. I’m an introvert, so that’s natural for me. And being “locked up” at home should make my day. But I do miss going out. I miss just going outside to run some errands, and I miss that I could go to the mall or the park or wherever whenever I want to. I miss just going outside freely without feeling fear for myself. I miss being free. I should be happy that I get to stay at home, but not like this, because there’s this feeling of being trapped.


Sometimes I ask myself, what will happen next? Will we be able to defeat this and be the victor at the end? Or will this virus wipe us all? These thoughts are kind of dark, but you cannot help but think them because it could come true. What’s happening to our world right now is a nightmare coming to life.


What’s also sad about this, besides the death and the illness, is that it’s also dividing us. Instead of showing kindness, we are showing hatred. Instead of giving chances and acceptance, we are easily cancelling one out. Instead of unity, there’s a huge gap separating each of us.


I don’t know about you, but these are making me exhausted and really depressed. It’s like everywhere I look there’s always evil things happening, and it is done by us­­–the people. Sometimes I want to ask and shake them, “Why are you doing this?! What can you gain from this?! Seriously?! Why?!” Oh, if only I can shout this to the world, I know it would feel good just to get that out!


I hope soon that this pandemic will be over. I hope soon that we see our faults and wrong doings and change. I hope soon that we can forgive, accept, and love unconditionally. I hope soon that we can come together and build our world as one. Because right now, if we continue living like this, I am sure we will truly destroy our world.



Love,

Kristine


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P.S.

I know this is a little bit sad and a downer compares to what I usually write, but I just really need to get this out because if I don’t, I know I will snap. And it’s a bit therapeutic too. Anyway, I’ve been gone for so long since my last post, but there were a lot of happenings in my life that I needed taking care of and my full attention. I won’t be able to promise to post once a week, like I usually do, but I will try to post when I can. See you all soon!



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